Late night conversations

We are sleep training Sophie (still? Yes still shut up) and last night she slept through the night! Wooooo! I however, did not. They don't warn you about that part of sleep training! How long until I learn to sleep through the night again?! Last night I woke up at 3am and couldn't figure out why Sophie wasn't waking up either. I was worried. I was kinda freaked out. I was scared. So I decided to check on her. This is the conversation Steve and I had, at 3am:

Me: Steve. STEVE.
Steve: What? What's wrong? What happened?
Me: It's 3am, Sophie hasn't woken up yet.
Steve: What?
Me: It's 3am and Sophie hasn't woken up!
Steve: Isn't that the point?
Me: Yes but I'm worried!
Steve: *falling back to sleep*
Me: Should I check on her?
Steve: You might wake her up.
Me: What if she's dead?
Steve: She's sleeping. It's 3am
Me: I'm going to check on her.
Steve: Fine. Don't wake her up.

I go check on her and she is sleeping like an angel. A sleep trained angel.

Me: She's fast asleep!
Steve: Did I have to be awake for this?

Poor husband. Poor Steve. Poor crazy Anna! How do you get through that though? Being so used to her waking up every two hours, now I'm just convinced somethings wrong when she doesn't wake up! And she didn't wake up until 6:45, but I still woke up every few hours expecting to hear her crying. I want her to sleep through the night but I freak out when she does. Motherhood is weird. 

What I can't shut up about

If you like floor plans, then this is the blog post for you!

We have been living with my parents since we moved to Washington a year ago. It has been amazing, but it's time we adult a bit more and get our own place. Also, I want another baby, and there is quite literally no room in the house. It is too full of all of our crap. So I have been drooling over an apartment complex in Issaquah for far too long, and hopefully in a month or so I will be writing a blog post about the perils of moving 1,400 books into an 880 square foot apartment. But for now, drool with me over these floor plans.

Our first contender is the smaller apartment. It's also cheaper, this seems to me that it's the smarter option. We don't necessarily need extra space. Plus, it has two bathrooms, so if I really start to feel crowded I can just lock Steve and Nellie into the extra bathroom, and take a bath in the master bathroom. Obviously Sophie is napping peacefully in her room in this fantasy. I'm not a monster.

Contender two is bigger but of course more expensive. It has more dining space, which lets be honest means crafting space. However, more space means less money to fuel my baby gear habit. Do I want a more spacious living room or do I want another Wildbird ring sling, that BOB double stroller, and a custom-knit baby blanket from Iceland? I think if I look at my life and my choices the answer is probably the latter. 

We find out May 12-15 whether they have any availability. Hopefully they will. If not, you can find us under our ever-growing pile of crap in my parents spare bedroom. I'll be the one silently sobbing into a bar of chocolate.

Birthday bestness

Bestness isn't a real word yet but it is now because yesterday was the best! I loved putting together Sophie's party and I didn't take nearly enough photos because I was far to busy living in the moment. And the moment was so fun!

Gold balloons!!! Slightly deflated but STILL CUTE!

I had a blast decorating - the theme was Spot the Dog, Sophie's favorite book, and so obviously there were lots if polka dots! I bought gold happy birthday letter balloons and they were terrible quality and a handful but I don't care because they looked so cute! I also bought polka dot balloons and they were so perfect! I made a Spot the Dog cake and I'll be honest with you, up close it looked a little off, but from far away it was awesome! I had a hard time with the icing... But it tasted great!

Dad was organizing and parking cars this morning and made the mistake of saying hi to Sophie. She then insisted on going with him on whatever he was doing, which meant she drove her first car today! She's so funny and cute - she let Grandpa know she wanted to be held, and was very upset when he tried to walk away! How can you say no to her though? She's the best!

But the best part of the day were my people! Thomas, Kyla, Jonny, and Daisy all came into town! Sophie loves the attention she gets when everyone is here! They all love holding her and she looooooves them! It's so cute to see her with them! The more tired she gets the more she wants her grandma though. Not her mum. Hurtful.

My big surprise though was Adrienne, Kathryn, and Nick!!! Oh my gosh! Roberta came through the door, followed by Kathryn and Adrienne, and then Nick. It was so funny, I'm so used to them walking though the door it seemed completely normal! It wasn't until I saw Nick, and thought hang on they are all supposed to be in San Fran, and that's when I freaked out! It is so amazing to have my oldest and dearest friends here to celebrate Sophie's birthday with me. I almost cried! I held it in though. Only the birthday girl can cry at her party!

But speaking of, Sophie was a perfect birthday girl! No tears! She even got to play with one of her friend, and made a few new friends too! It was so fun, and my girl definitely loves being the center of attention. We might have to watch out for that!

Today though we fly out to Salt Lake, where she will get heaps of attention again from her amazing grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles! I'm so excited for her to see them again! It seems like she always immediately recognizes her Grandma Lisa and it just warms my heart. Lisa is such a sweetheart and is such a great grandma! Sophie loves her cousins too and they just looooove her! It's so fun!

The Dichotomy of First

Sophie is one. My teeny tiny helpless newborn is now crawling, standing, learning words. She's starting to crave independence - pushing away my kisses, moving away from my arms, trying in her clumsy way to do things herself. I love all of it. I want to soak it all in, watch her every move, catch her every babble, and provide any opportunity she needs to move and learn and grow. But this passage of time reminds me that one day she won't be my only baby. No, I'm not pregnant yet, and it probably won't happen too soon, but one day she won't be my entire world. She won't have my all, my entire attention. One day she'll have to wait, while I help her brother. Wait, I'm listening to her sister's story right now. I know I should live in the moment, be grateful for every day that she is mine, and oh my word I am. But there is that tiny part of me, the future, that knows these moments of just us won't last forever. and that is where I am torn. I can't wait to see her hug her new sibling, hold hands. I can't wait to laugh with Steve the first time she tries to blames something on her sibling, or squabbles with them over toys. One day she'll have a partner in crime to play with, commiserate on how annoying the rules are, justify breaking them together. Part of me can't wait for this! I love having three siblings, having such a close bond with them. But right now, with just one, just Sophie, I get to give her my all. Wake up when she wants, snuggle when she wants, nap with her, dance with her. When she points, my attention is only on her, and when she cries, my arms are only hers. None of my future children will get this attention, and once I have another child, Sophie won't get it anymore. It's the strangest feeling - one part of my heart wants this to never change, have Sophie be my all forever. But at the exact same time, I am filled with joy when I think of the children waiting to join our family. I so badly want another newborn in my arms, and I can't wait for Sophie to learn generosity, love, and companionship from little siblings who will hopefully turn into lifelong friends.

One year ago!

One year ago today Sophie was born. How crazy is that?! I can't believe it was one year ago. I can't believe she's a year old. How did that happen? Where did the time go? How do I get it to slow down? That ridiculous saying you hear all the time as a new mum really is correct - the days are long but the years are short. I feel like I need longer in this first year!

I decided, in honor of Sophie's first birthday, and since I haven't done it yet, I want to post about her birth. Don't worry, I won't go into the gory details, I promise! But there were some great moments, and I want to keep them in my mind so I don't forget them!

Puffy and bloated but MAN did I think I looked cute! I LOVED being pregnant!

Lets start the Friday before. It's two days before my due date, I'm SUPER pregnant, but feeling great and like I'm going to stay pregnant for another month! At least! I was convinced I was going to be super late and wouldn't give birth until the 30th or something like that. I haven't had any of the tell-tale signs of labor, no Braxton-Hicks, nothing. So at my doctor's appointment, I'm incredibly skeptical when my lovely Doctor tells me to prepare because she's guessing I'll go into labor that weekend and have my baby by Monday. Hah! What does she know? I waddle home, content in the thought that I'll be pregnant forever, and as Friday and Saturday pass with zero signs of anything happening, I feel pretty good about being right.

Cue to 2:54am on Sunday morning. I wake up to back pain? Cramps? What turns out to be a contraction. I heave my whaleness out of bed and my water breaks. Which, by the way, definitely feels like I'm peeing my pants. Oops sorry. I promised no gory details. I have a contraction, but I just shrug it off and lumber back to bed. But I'm woken just a few minutes later by another contraction. Blast. I get out of bed, put on my nightgown, and decide to do a few laps around the kitchen. Daisy is staying the weekend, and I briefly wake her up, but don't tell her whats going on. Whats the point? This is gonna take DAYS, right? Doesn't labor last at least 12 hours?

About half an hour has passed and I'm thinking I should start timing these bad boys, just for fun. They're pretty close together, which is a bit of a surprise. 3-4 minutes close together. But I've read the baby books, and I know that the first stage of labor can last ages, so I'm probably just tired and confused. I decide to wake Steve up and have him time it for me. He's a tad grumpy at being woken up, but agrees to help me. At this point (3:45am) they're only 3 minutes apart, max, and 45 seconds long. Steve persuades me that maybe it's time to go to the hospital. I stall him a bit, but by 4:15 he's persuaded me. We wake up Mum and Dad, let them know I'm going to get checked, and maybe Mum should come too. We don't bother waking Daisy, because, again, it's probably nothing!

We get to the Issaquah Swedish hospital at around 5am, and it's GORGEOUS. Like a hotel! They check me out and decide that I'm in full blown labor, and get us into a labor room by 5:30am. A random male doctor shows up to try and check me out but I just give him a dirty look and ignore him. I'm waiting for my doctor, I don't need him to tell me I'm in labor.

Everything's been going great at this point. Contractions are easy, breezy, I'm handling it like a champ. Until suddenly it's NOT OKAY. I had planned on no epidural at all, and holy moly batman. It was all Steve and my mum could do to keep me from charging to the nurses station and smacking people around until they gave me one. I was yelling at them that it hurt way too much, this is crazy, Dr. Bradley is a big fat liar and he can shove his method you know where. At one point I told them I was getting an epidural after I went to the bathroom. When I came out, they were both looking at me with fear in their eyes, and informed me that they'd talked about it while I was in the bathroom and had decided that I couldn't have an epidural. I had to stick through it because that's what I'd told them earlier. Yeesh. Thanks guys. Also, at one point, my Mum leaned over to Steve and said "it probably isn't that bad, she's always been a bit of a drama queen." Thanks, Mum.

The nurse was finally taking me seriously, and told me she'd check me out and then if I really wanted an epidural, they'd let me get one. Thank GOODNESS. I could have kissed her. But that wasn't to be. I was ready to push! They called my doctor, and I was so happy to see her. It was time to get down to business!

Again, I'll spare you the gory details, but let me tell you - pushing was my FAVORITE part. The pain went away, I was hyper focused, and just so concentrated on getting my daughter out. Which is really good, because it was apparently a slow labor day, and at one point there were 6 nurses just hanging out watching me. One of the nurses actually called another nurse over because she was just standing around. I'm pretty sure by the end of it they were passing around popcorn and milk duds.

Babies get reeeeally grouchy during the whole birth thing.

And Sophie was born! I got to pull her out which was INCREDIBLE. She didn't breath properly right away - they had to encourage her a bit to take a deep breath. But then she did, and they gave her to me, and she was SO BEAUTIFUL. A purple, slightly slimy, absolute miracle. She looked so cute from the start - not nearly as puffy and alien as I'd expected! The crazy thing was when they announced time of birth. 8:19am on April 19th, her due date. I couldn't believe it. Barely 3 hours after we'd arrived at the hospital that little nutter was born! Only 5 and a half hours after I started! Imma be honest - I felt like I'd been working for a lot longer than that!

Cutest Dad award!

One of my favorite parts was getting to see Steve hold Sophie - he looked slightly scared and so so so sweet! So happy! She was 8lbs even, 21 inches long, and looked tiny in his arms. It was amazing!

Daisy and Sophie snuggles!

The other funny story from that morning Steve told me after the fact. He went to tell my Dad and Daisy that Sophie had been born and we were ready for visitors. Daisy apparently jumped right out of her seat and started walking very fast - the wrong way! Steve had to tell her to turn around! She was so excited to meet Sophie, she was gonna get there as fast as possible, even though she had no clue where she was going! Jon, Thomas, and Kyla came a few hours later, and I was just in heaven with my beautiful little baby!

With Grandpa!

Pointy pictures are vital!

Uncle Jon!

Thomas and Kyla!

Grandma and Daisy!

One of the hardest parts of it was not getting to go home right away. I wanted to get my baby home and not worry about doctors and nurses and whatever else. They wouldn't let us leave until the next day around 1:30pm. I was so frustrated, I just wanted to get home! They wanted to monitor Sophie for a bit longer though.

Love!

Also, word to the wise, don't bring jeans to wear home from giving birth. Bad idea.

Cutest. Baby. Ever.

Most of it is honestly a bit of a blur, but I was just so amazed at how instant my love was for this little girl. How immediately I felt like she was meant to be with me. How incredibly strong my bond with her was right away. How grateful I was that I had been entrusted with her care! She is the greatest little being and man, oh man, do I love her!

Family Photo!

5 signs it may be time to day-wean your baby

Sophie is turning one in just a few short days, and that's crazy to believe! I am very lucky that I was able to nurse her with ease, and my supply was so good I even was able to donate milk to a few other babies. She is still going strong and nursing throughout the day and night. However, I've started seeing a few signs that maybe it's time to cut out some of those day nursings, and thought I'd share.

1. She's one motor-boating son (or daughter) of a gun.

We were on a tour of an apartment complex. I was carrying Sophie and could tell she was getting hungry. Right in the middle of a conversation about utility costs, she leaned in and planted her face firmly in my cleavage. That wasn't enough of course. She had to let me know she needed to eat by making so fun noises while she was down there, while moving her head from side to side. Fortunately I'm an adult and handled it by going bright red and giggling nervously. I'm certain the leasing agent barely noticed.

2. She treats you like it's Mardi Gras and she wants some beads.

We were walking in the hallway at church, making our way to the mothers room so I can nurse her, and one of the other mothers stops briefly to chat. Sophie does not appreciate the distraction from her lunch (fair enough, who would?) and takes this opportunity to subtly let me know that she'd prefer I keep heading in the direction of food. By pulling my shirt down. As far as it goes. Not sure this is what those blogs mean when they say to teach your kids sign language so they can tell you it's time to eat, although in her defense it is crystal clear what she'd like!

3. You feel like the constant victim of a very handsy TSA agent.

Are you getting a constant pat down? Poked, prodded, and rubbed? Either you've been randomly selected for screening or you're nursing your one year old. Girl can't just sit and eat - she's gotta search around like the nations security is in her hands. But I'd better not try and stop her - that'll set off the alarms. And by alarms, I mean her screeching. At least it's good practice for my next trip.

4. You've got hickies, but not the fun kind.

You know that amazing ability to pick up small things she's learned that I'm so proud of? Well, picking up Cheerios and choking hazards is old news. She now uses it to pinch me. Constantly. And if you've ever had siblings, you'll know that pinched skin leaves tiny little marks that look suspiciously like mini hickies. The best part about it is that due to her location and her reach, they're all in that golden area - right around my neck. Joy.

And finally: 

5. Teeth.

Do I really need to explain this one? This baby sadist looooooves to use her teeth. She has four now. Big old nope.

As much as I love my snuggles, and love getting a chance to curl up with my little love, I think it's time to start throwing some rules down here. Do I think it'll work? Probably not. I know who calls the shots, and it's definitely not me.