Sleep, baby, sleep!

I've wanted to write an update on Sophie's sleeping for a while but with so much going on, and not really being settled since the move, I thought I would hold off until I knew her sleeping was for real. We just took a trip and I haven't had to re-establish schedules since so I'm pretty confident about her sleeping now! And yes, I am very aware I just cursed myself. Let's all take a moment to knock on wood for me. Thanks.

Is anyone else mega obsessed with taking photos of their sleeping baby? I think half the photos I have of her she's unconscious! But it's so dang cute! She always looks so peaceful. I love her!

So here's how it went down. We tried a thousand different gentle, no cry, attachment-parenting sleep methods and none of them worked. If I was in the room, Sophie wanted to be in my arms. I was exhausted from waking up every 2-3hrs, it was disturbing Steve, and I honestly didn't think it was working for Sophie either. Cosleeping didn't work either because Sophie sleeps like this: 

Which means many nights I ended up at the end of the bed. No fun. Plus, she would wake up to nurse, and I was just over touched by the end of the day. Add in an hour of nursing and rocking trying to get her to sleep, and you can probably get my frustration! So trying cry it out seemed like the only way to go.

And holy crap did it work for us.

Let me add a quick disclaimer - I hated having to do CIO. I hated listening to her cry. It was a last resort for us. I do not recommend this as a first try. But if you are exhausted and have tried many things and none of them are working, maybe it's for you. 

But CIO worked for us. The first night, Sophie cried for 45 soul-crushing minutes. She woke up once in the middle of the night and cried for 15 minutes. She woke up at 6:30 awake and happy. The second night, she cried for 20 minutes, and she didn't wake up in the middle of the night. She woke up at 5:30, nursed, and went back to sleep until 7. The third night, 5 minutes of crying. No midnight wake up, 5:30 to nurse and back to sleep until 7. 

It was GLORIOUS! 

We had a few hiccups as we were still living with my parents, and I was putting her to bed at 7:30, and their hallway is loud. So if she heard someone walking up and down, she would wake up and cry. But for the most part, she started sleeping through the night! Now it takes me 15 minutes instead of 1.5hrs to get her into her crib, Steve and I get to spend more time together, and I even occasionally get to work out in the evening! I have so much time!

She still naps in my bed, but that's for my convenience. First, she naps longer - 3-4 hrs in my bed compared to 1.5hrs in her crib. It also means I have time to clean up her room/put away her laundry, etc. She takes one nap a day and that's really all she needs or wants!

She also comes into bed with us in the morning! She'll wake up between 5:30-6:30 and nurse, then usually falls back to sleep until 7:30-8:30 depending on when she went to bed the night before. This works for me because I loooooove our morning snuggles!

Although depending on when she wakes up and when I went to bed, sometimes she wakes up a bit earlier than I'd like... 

It also makes me much happier during the day. Babies are very demanding on the bodies of their mamas. Between nursing, rocking, snuggling, being carried, etc, I get touched out by the end of the day! Having that night stretch has made SUCH a difference to me! During the day, if she wants to be carried or snuggled or nursed or whatever, it's much more of a joy! It makes me a lot happier to be able to give that physical attention to her when she needs it!

So moral of the story is - do what's best for you. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. A happy, well-rested mama is a good mama! And a happy, well-rested baby is a good baby!

And let's not forget the dads - they need sleep too! Steve is a lot happier now that he doesn't have to worry about Sophie falling out of bed or crushing her in his sleep!

And one more wake-up photo for good luck - how cute is that face?

Cloth Diapering!

One of the things I knew I would do with my kids is cloth diapering. My parents did it with us and I've always known I've wanted to do it too! There are a few reasons. First, I know I want a lot of kids, and with the amount of diapers filling the landfills already, I knew I didn't want to add to that with all of my children! It would be environmentally irresponsible! Secondly, the cost! We have spent maybe $200 on diapers in Sophie's life, because my parents bought our stash for us, so we only need to buy them on occasion. We did use them for the first two weeks or so of her life, until her belly button healed, and we use them occasionally if I don't wash on time or if we go on trips. But I try to minimize that as much as possible. Third, cloth diaper butts are SO CUTE! They are big and fluffy and adorable, and the covers are so fun too!

Look at that tiny baby and her tiny cloth diapered butt! So cute!

I do want to say though, our circumstances are very lucky that we can do this. I stay at home, so that's easier. I know it's harder for working parents to find a daycare that will do them, and then find time for an extra load of laundry! Also, I have no sense of smell and have a strong stomach when it comes to this kind of stuff. It's not for everyone, and I don't want anyone to think I judge them for not using them! 

Now that I've put that disclaimer out there, back to it! I use the Kanga Care Rumparooz that my friend Camille suggested to me. She is my cloth diapering guru - at my baby shower she walked me through her system and I basically just copied her! They were really great with cute prints and colors, although they have partnered with an anime company so their print diapers aren't as cute in my opinion anymore. They still have some gorgeous solids though!

My set up is pretty simple. Sophie's dresser is also the diaper change station. We used to have a separate thing for it but her room is not huge and we want to conserve space! This works perfectly though!

We have the bottom drawer as her diaper drawer. Two baskets hold the covers and the cloth diapers. It makes it really easy for me, and she hasn't figured out how to open it yet so she doesn't throw them everywhere!

Then on the top we have the changing pad, fasteners, and her cloth wipes. We started using regular wipes but it was such a hassle, and we had to switch brands because her skin is so sensitive, so we just went with good old cloth wipes and a plastic bottle full of water. It works a treat!

One of our biggest tricks is coconut oil! Regular creams clog up the cloth, making them less absorbent, but coconut oil doesn't, so we use tons of it! Keeps her skin smooth and helps ward off infections!

Finally, how we clean them: I put them straight into a bucket of water and borax. This stops them from smelling until I can throw them in the wash! We tend to go about three days in between washing them. They stay under the sink in Sophies bathroom, out of her and Nellie's reach. 

So useful and patriotic!

I don't do a lot of touching poop, most of it goes straight into the toilet. We have also been doing a kind of early toilet training with Sophie - if I can tell she is about to poop/pooping, I just take her to the toilet and sit her on it! So we haven't had too many poops to deal with! And that's that! If you have any questions let me know!

The Terrible Twos... At 14 Months?

Today we went over to see my mum and hang out at the house. Sophie knows who lives there and was so excited to see her Grandma! However, while they were reading together, I decided to join in. I put my head next to Sophie, gave her a kiss, and she pushed me away. Yup. My sweet little girl pushed me away. I was not invited to reading time with grandma. Ouch. Later, we went blueberry picking. Sophie LOVES blueberries! They are her favorite fruit, tied maybe with bananas. She loves them! But after blueberry picking we had a bit of a problem. Girl wouldn't share. I tried to take a blueberry from her bucket and she screamed at me! Full on screamed. My bad. The other morning, as I was making her eggs for breakfast, I gave her a bit of peanut butter on bread to tide her over until it was done. She threw it at me. Last night, I tried to read her Guess How Much I Love You to take a break from The Very Hungry Caterpilar and she smacked me in the face.

This tiny sweet girl has Opinions. With a capital O. And she is not shy about letting me know! Is it possible we have entered the terrible twos 10 months early?! We are already getting tantrums! Full on throw her head, arch her back, scream tantrums! She goes from the sweetest girl to yelling in a moments notice! Then as soon as I give her eggs, or read the right book, she's back to being my sweet angel baby. I even got in trouble for trying to dress her. Apparently, clothes are now optional in the Stapley house!

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like I'm never stubborn... Or opinionated... I had this coming! And you know what? I love it! I'm proud of my girl for stating her opinion! For letting me know what she wants! She hasn't got the words right now to explain, but she still lets me know what she wants! Sure, it's not fun in the moment to have a piece of peanut buttery bread lobbed at your face, but you know what? I'm glad she's not a doormat. I'm glad she's loud. I'm glad she lets me know. She's gonna be a force to be reckoned with (send prayers!) and I love it!

Near death experience!

Okay that might be a slight exaggeration. I'm getting a bit click-baity with these blog titles. Sorry.

But seriously. Near death experience! Sophie and I were driving to pick Steve up Thursday. I was driving our 4Runner and took a turn slightly too fast. It was a little sharper of a turn than I expected. It was rainy. 

And we hydroplaned. Of course, all of my knowledge and education, and all of the lectures dad gave me went straight out the window. I panicked! I immediately did the two things you're NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. I slammed on my brakes and yanked my wheel. Idiot. We swerved to the right, then swerved to the left and did a 270 turn, ending up in the other lane of traffic, pointing toward the sidewalk. Through miracle of miracles, there was a red light up ahead and zero traffic on the roads, which seriously was amazing since it was 4:30pm in the Highlands! 

I was freaking out like crazy! I drove the rest of the short way at about 5 mph and immediately burst into tears upon seeing Steve. I didn't quite explain what happened through the tears, so he was a little worried about the car. Have you ever had your husband ever so sensitively try and find out if your near accident was the car's fault or because you're a crap driver? Such a sweetheart! It takes quite a lot of skill to ask a slightly hysterical woman questions without accusing her of being a terrible driver! Luckily I was able to calm down and reassure him that all was good on the car. 

But everytime I think about it I am filled with gratitude. If there were cars behind us, we could have been hit. If there were cars driving in the other direction, we would have been hit. That's the scariest for me because they would have hit directly where Sophie's car seat is. Her door would have taken the impact. My heart freezes whenever I think of the what ifs of the situation. I am so grateful that we weren't hit. I'm so grateful that the traffic was stopped at the light. I'm so grateful that Sophie didn't even notice what happened, peacefully asleep in her car seat. I am so grateful. My prayers were extra long that night, pouring out gratitude! For everything that I have - my health, my husband, my beautiful daughter. My amazing parents and in-laws. My incredible family. Supportive friends. A comfortable home and an adorable dog.

As we were driving home, going 60 in the slow lane, and holding hands, I had to giggle a little bit on the missed opportunity. I'm perfectly healthy, perfectly fine, not even a slight bit of whiplash... Which means I have no excuse not to work out this weekend. Blast.

Reading to Sophie

One of my favorite parts of my day is reading to Sophie. She absolutely loves it! We read at least three books before bed, usually five. She loves turning the page, pointing out the stars or the caterpillar or the different animals. She loves lifting the flaps on Spot books and listening to the silly noises! It's such a joy! She curls into me, puts her little arm on mine, and settles in to enjoy whatever it is we read that night. So I thought I would make a list of her favorite books to share with you guys! Honestly this post is definitely for me - I want to remember her favorite things, and these books are definitely some of them! In no particular order, here they are:

1. Where's Spot?

2. Duck and Goose: Goose Needs a Hug

3. The Very Hungry Caterpillar

4. Teddy Bear Picnic

5. Little Blue Truck

6. The More We Get Together

7. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

8. Goodnight Boston

9. Who Says Quack?

10. The Itsy Bitsy Snowman

The great thing about these books though is that I like reading them! Thus far, we haven't had any differing opinions as to which books are good. She definitely knows which ones she wants to read, and will tell me if I'm reading the wrong one! Once she almost threw herself off the couch because I'd picked up the wrong book and she could see the one she wanted! Silly mummy. I'm hoping this love of reading continues - I can't wait for the day that we read Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone together!

I will be honest about one thing though - I haven't read her the book I Love You Forever yet. I'm worried I might cry!

Such exciting news!

Remember when I posted about the apartments I wanted? I'm soooooo excited! Last week we found out we got the apartment we want! We are officially approved and will be moving in on June 6th! I'm SO excited! It's the Issaquah Terrace apartments. They are so beautiful! I can't wait! This is our floor plan:

I am slightly worried about moving out though to be honest. I am really excited to have our own space and get to use all of our stuff again. However, I will definitely miss having mum and dad around to help with Sophie! Sometimes I think she gets sick of me and would rather be with them instead! She loves them so much! It will be an adjustment for sure, but it's only 20 minutes down the road! 

How to clap: a photo guide by Sophie

Step one: make sure your adoring audience is paying attention to you

Step two: raise your hands as far as you can

Step three: put your hands together

Step four: pull them apart

Step five: put them together again

Step six: pull them apart

Step seven: laugh at how awesome you are

Step eight: make sure your adoring audience is still watching

Step nine: smile!

And there you go! Good job! You did it!

Becoming a mother

Basically the cutest baby. Let's just agree on that right now.

One of the businesses I follow on Instagram was asking their followers when they felt they truly became a mother. The answers were so beautiful, and were such a range! It was so cool reading all the different perspectives - women who adopted, or gave children up for adoption and then had more later on, or women who did IVF and saw their embryos, women who didn't know they were pregnant and women who tried for decades to get pregnant! Becoming a mother is such a personal journey and it's such a beautiful one too!

Dad teaching her to suck on her fingers. Look at her holding his hand!

I was thinking about the moment that I felt I was a mother, and it's so hard to pinpoint that. When I had a positive pregnancy test in our little house in Salt Lake, I don't think I really felt it at that point. Steve was so calm and chill and told me it was probably a false positive and I should go get my blood drawn and tested. I had been diagnosed with hypothyroidism which can cause some problems with getting pregnant, and although I had started medicine, we thought we'd be waiting for a while longer still! So it didn't feel real. The next day I went in to get my blood drawn. I was going from work to the doctor, and then heading to a Planning Committee meeting about the new Homeless Youth Resource Center's shelter component we were hoping to build. It was actually when I was sitting in that meeting that I received an email from my doctor letting me know I was pregnant! I didn't expect to find out so soon! But that was the first hint of a moment for me. That first realization that, holy crap, this is it, here we go! Then those thoughts of, okay hold on, maybe it won't stick, start to creep in. Don't get your hopes up, this isn't a done deal.

She's just so dang cute. That hand!

We had a doctor appointment that Friday at 7am. Obviously it was early days so I didn't want to raise any alarms at work, and didn't want to take time off. We had our first ultra sound, and the baby looked like a little race car. So funny! We were six weeks along. I was dying to tell people! Sitting looking at the screen holding Steves hand was one of the most spiritual moments I'd had leading up to that point. This was a tiny being, a little baby, not even a fetus yet, still technically an embryo! I was already so in love, and felt such a strong need to protect my little embryo as much as possible!

Having hot chocolate together!

Feeling Sophie kick for the first time was another defining moment. Ultrasounds, while cool, are so clinical and detached. It's hard to connect that the black and white blob is a human. But feeling her move was amazing! The love I felt at each kick was incalculable, and it grew and grew as she did, even as her kicks started hurting. I was proud of her for being strong, for growing so big!

That smile! So sweet!

And of course her birth. Holding her in my arms, feeling her wiggle around, hearing her soft cries. She was such a quiet baby!

SO excited for mummy and baby yoga!

The strange thing though is although I felt such a crazy huge love for her, even though I was head over heels, didn't want to be apart from her, didn't want to put her down, I still didn't quite feel like a mother. I knew I was one, but she was an easy baby. She cried, I fed her. I rocked her, she slept. Those first few weeks were such a breeze, especially having Steve home, then my mum home, and then my mother in law visit and help me. It was all idyllic and perfect and beautiful. 

Got a cold but she's still smiling!

But when I truly felt there, when I truly felt like Sophie's mother, was the first time I struggled. I had put her to bed, and she was usually the perfect baby, only waking to eat. This night though, she was waking 20 minutes after I put her down, crying, and then going back to sleep only to start over. I couldn't figure out what was going on! I was getting so stressed, so upset, feeling so useless. Then it dawned on me - it was a particularly cold night, but I hadn't given Sophie any extra layers! What if she was cold? I put her in her warmest set of pjs, swaddled her in a thicker blanket, and put her back to sleep. And she stayed asleep! I was so proud of myself I woke Steve up to tell him! She slept for a lot longer that stretch, and I let her. We both deserved the extra sleep! That was the moment though, that I really felt like I had become a mother. I had finally earned the title.

Learning to use the nun-chucks her uncles bought her!

Motherhood is definitely something you earn. Whether you have children or you adopt, you have to learn. You are sent home with a fragile little bundle (or more if you're lucky!) and you have to just get to it! Make it happen! I now know Sophie's cries. When she's just being a butt and she's faking, when she needs something like a diaper change, or when she just needs some love and snuggles. Those last cries are my favorite, and I'm the one she's crying to. She knows I will be there to soothe her. To snuggle and hold her. I am her mother, her mama, her mum. I am so grateful for that! I can't wait to continue to earn my title of mother to this sweet, perfect girl.

Worn. Out.

Late night conversations

We are sleep training Sophie (still? Yes still shut up) and last night she slept through the night! Wooooo! I however, did not. They don't warn you about that part of sleep training! How long until I learn to sleep through the night again?! Last night I woke up at 3am and couldn't figure out why Sophie wasn't waking up either. I was worried. I was kinda freaked out. I was scared. So I decided to check on her. This is the conversation Steve and I had, at 3am:

Me: Steve. STEVE.
Steve: What? What's wrong? What happened?
Me: It's 3am, Sophie hasn't woken up yet.
Steve: What?
Me: It's 3am and Sophie hasn't woken up!
Steve: Isn't that the point?
Me: Yes but I'm worried!
Steve: *falling back to sleep*
Me: Should I check on her?
Steve: You might wake her up.
Me: What if she's dead?
Steve: She's sleeping. It's 3am
Me: I'm going to check on her.
Steve: Fine. Don't wake her up.

I go check on her and she is sleeping like an angel. A sleep trained angel.

Me: She's fast asleep!
Steve: Did I have to be awake for this?

Poor husband. Poor Steve. Poor crazy Anna! How do you get through that though? Being so used to her waking up every two hours, now I'm just convinced somethings wrong when she doesn't wake up! And she didn't wake up until 6:45, but I still woke up every few hours expecting to hear her crying. I want her to sleep through the night but I freak out when she does. Motherhood is weird. 

What I can't shut up about

If you like floor plans, then this is the blog post for you!

We have been living with my parents since we moved to Washington a year ago. It has been amazing, but it's time we adult a bit more and get our own place. Also, I want another baby, and there is quite literally no room in the house. It is too full of all of our crap. So I have been drooling over an apartment complex in Issaquah for far too long, and hopefully in a month or so I will be writing a blog post about the perils of moving 1,400 books into an 880 square foot apartment. But for now, drool with me over these floor plans.

Our first contender is the smaller apartment. It's also cheaper, this seems to me that it's the smarter option. We don't necessarily need extra space. Plus, it has two bathrooms, so if I really start to feel crowded I can just lock Steve and Nellie into the extra bathroom, and take a bath in the master bathroom. Obviously Sophie is napping peacefully in her room in this fantasy. I'm not a monster.

Contender two is bigger but of course more expensive. It has more dining space, which lets be honest means crafting space. However, more space means less money to fuel my baby gear habit. Do I want a more spacious living room or do I want another Wildbird ring sling, that BOB double stroller, and a custom-knit baby blanket from Iceland? I think if I look at my life and my choices the answer is probably the latter. 

We find out May 12-15 whether they have any availability. Hopefully they will. If not, you can find us under our ever-growing pile of crap in my parents spare bedroom. I'll be the one silently sobbing into a bar of chocolate.